


our little secret

by poetictragedy



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Dirty Talk, Endearments, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Webcam/Video Chat Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-01 01:59:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetictragedy/pseuds/poetictragedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared meets Jeff online and becomes close friends with the man, despite the huge difference in their ages. Jeff becomes a big part of Jared's life and he can tell the older man anything at all... but soon their friendship turns into something else entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	our little secret

**Author's Note:**

> Quick note: Jared is _twelve_ in this fic, so if that bothers you please exit out right now. 
> 
> Written for [spnkink-meme](http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/) for this prompt: _Jared (young as author dares) meets Jeff online, and after becoming very close friends, Jeff convinces Jared to do video calls with him, which eventually progresses to Jared fingering himself on camera while Jeff tells him how fast to go and how deep to fuck himself <3_
> 
>  
> 
> _Dub-con is situational only, accounting for the age-gap only-- Jared can be reluctant or even outwardly resistant the first time Jeff suggests doing anything sexual, but Jeff never guilt-trips him or "tricks" him into doing anything._
> 
>  
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes you find and if this fic isn't your cup of tea, please do not comment and tell me so; just exit out and pretend like you didn't read any of this.

Jared had managed to convince his mother that he was sick and talked her into letting him stay home alone all weekend instead of joining the family on their trip. They were going to a ranch a few hours away, one that was owned by Sherri’s sister, and Jared didn’t feel like going for a myriad of different reasons. The biggest one, of course, being that he wanted to talk to Jeff without being interrupted by his family.  
  
Three months ago, Jared was given his own laptop. It wasn’t brand new, at least not to him, and had been a hand-me-down from his older brother, who upgraded before leaving for college. Jared had been given the computer and told that he could only use it for homework purposes and for keeping in touch with his friends; no chat rooms or porn sites, his father said.  
  
Of course, being the curious twelve year old boy that he is, Jared could only stay away from those sites for so long before curiosity got the better of him. He ended up going to some random chat site and started talking to people that were well over twice his age before finding Jeff - a forty year old businessman who lived in Seattle.  
  
Jared didn’t think anything about their conversation and honestly thought it was just something to do that would pass the time. He didn’t think that Jeff would ever want to speak to him again but when Jared said that he had to go, the older man asked if they could talk again soon and the boy agreed.  
  
They talked every day after that and Jared became close with Jeff. He even started telling the older man things that he could never discuss with his parents because it was either too embarrassing or he would get in trouble for it. And every single time, Jeff never treated him like a child; Jared was always treated with respect and like he was an adult instead of a twelve year old boy.  
  
Just a few weeks ago, their conversations went from instant messages to video chats and Jared was surprised to see Jeff on screen for the first time. He had stared, wide eyed and slack jawed, at the man for a long moment before feeling embarrassed. Jeff didn’t look like any of the people Jared had imagined when his parents said “there are predators on the internet that want to  _touch you_ , JT” and that only solidified the fact that Jeff was a good guy.  
  
But the thing was this: Jared and Jeff could only video chat when no one else was around or everyone was asleep. He didn’t want his family knowing that he was talking to a stranger online and didn’t  _need_  them knowing that the stranger was old enough to be his  _dad_. On a few occasions, though, his family had come home and Jared hadn’t heard them until Megan burst into his room, yelling about her day at the top of her lungs.  
  
So that’s why Jared faked sick that weekend. He loved his family, don’t get him wrong, but he needed to talk to Jeff about some things that were bugging him and needed the older man’s advice. It was nice, having someone to go to that wouldn’t judge or make fun of him for whatever was on his mind, and Jared liked that Jeff  _listened_.  
  
The house was quiet now and Jared bit down on his lower lip, waiting for the rumble of the car’s engine to signal that his family was leaving. A moment later, the car roared to life and it was another couple of minutes before the sound died away, telling Jared that he was now officially alone for the weekend.  
  
"Thank  _god_." Jared laughed, shoving the blankets away from his legs before swinging them over the edge of the bed and standing. He immediately went over to his desk, pushing his laptop open before moving his finger along the touch pad. The screen came alive and Jared typed his password in, watching as his desktop popped up.

Once everything was booted up, Jared connected to the internet and brought Skype up, letting his fingertips drag across the keyboard as he typed his password in. He let it connect and left the room, going downstairs to grab a can of ginger ale, popping the top on it as he went back to his bedroom.  
  
Jared noticed the chat window when he got close to his desk and bit down on his lower lip, setting his drink down as he dropped down into his desk chair. Of course Jeff was already on and waiting for him, what else did he expect? There were two messages on the screen, waiting for the boy to read them.  
  
 **Jeff Morgan:**  You’re online early.  
 **Jeff Morgan:** I take it your family just left?  
  
Instead of typing up an answer, Jared hit the “video call” button and leaned back against his chair, listening to the music Skype made as it connected. Thirty seconds later, the screen popped up and Jeff was on there, wearing a pair of glasses and drinking from an overly large coffee mug.  
  
"You look like you just woke up," Jared pointed out, smirking at the screen.  
  
Jeff made a rumbling noise in his throat and set his cup down. “I had a long night, kid.”  
  
"Oh." Biting his lower lip, Jared played with the hem of his shirt for a moment. He felt guilty, even though he hadn’t been the one to come up with a time for meeting up online, and he wondered if Jeff would rather go to bed. "You can go back to sleep," he said, after a long moment of silence.  
  
"Nah, I’m already up." Jeff smiled, flashing dimples and Jared didn’t miss the way his heart skipped a couple of beats when he saw that smile. "What’s on your mind?"  
  
The question pulled Jared from his thoughts and he blushed a little, wondering why he was having such a reaction to seeing Jeff smile like that. Maybe it was just the fact that they hadn’t video chatted in a while and he missed seeing the older man. Yeah, that was the explanation he was going with.  
  
"Jay?"  
  
"Hmm?" Jared hummed, looking up and into Jeff’s eyes. When the older man repeated his question, the boy blushed even more and lifted his hand, running it through his hair slowly. Then he launched into an explanation about his problem; he told Jeff about the kids at school that were making fun of him for being different and how one of them, a kid named Chris, had caught him staring in the locker room.  
  
"So… is it normal to look at other boys?" Jared asked in a quiet voice.  
  
No response came for a moment and then Jeff laughed quietly. The noise made Jared blush even more and he brought his hands up, covering his face as he mumbled ‘never mind’ against his palms. He knew that it was a dumb question and that he shouldn’t be worrying someone as awesome as Jeff with something so trivial.  
  
"No, hey. I wasn’t laughing at you, Jared, I promise."  
  
"Uh-huh," Jared mumbled as he sank down into his chair, sighing loudly.  
  
Another laugh came from the computer and Jared wanted to disappear.  
  
"It’s completely normal for someone your age to get curious," Jeff explained and there was no hint of amusement in his voice, which made Jared relax - but only marginally. He peeked through his fingers and looked at the screen where Jeff was smiling sweetly at him and that made the boy’s heart thump. "You good now?"  
  
Jared bit his lip and nodded, dropping his hands before sitting up, sighing. “So you got curious when you were my age, too?”  
  
"Mmm hmm. Everyone gets curious, kid, and it’s completely normal. So don’t feel like a freak."  
  
"Yeah, it’s not that easy." Jared rolled his eyes so hard that it actually hurt and then scooted forward, resting his elbow on the edge of the desk. He cradled his chin in his palm and looked at the screen, watching as Jeff leaned back in his own chair. For the first time in their conversation, Jared noticed that the older man was  _shirtless_  and the realization made his entire face feel hot. Should he look away or pretend like he didn’t notice?

Jeff scratched his collarbone and a soft noise crackled through the speakers. “It is easy; you just have to ignore the assholes and remember what I said about it being normal,” he said, giving Jared one of those dimple smiles that always made him feel so good.  
  
Humming, Jared nodded and then switched gears; he asked Jeff about work, about how things were going with him, and if he had any more run-ins with the woman that lives down the street from him. While the older man spoke and answered his questions, the boy listened and smiled, adding commentary whenever it was needed.  
  
Nearly an hour later, Jared heard someone knocking on the door and squeaked. He told Jeff that he needed to go, that it was his neighbor checking on him, and promised to get on later that night. The last thing Jared saw before disconnecting was Jeff’s smile and he went downstairs to answer the door for Mrs. Evans with his heart slamming against his rib cage.  


 

x

  
  
That night, Jared had some of Mrs. Evans’ homemade chicken noodle soup for dinner and he took a shower after eating. He scrubbed every inch of his body, staying under the stream for longer than he normally would because he could and because the water felt amazing against his skin.  
  
After the shower, Jared called his mother. He talked to her as he walked around in his bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, making his voice sound croaky. She asked how he was feeling and if their neighbor came over to give him dinner, to which Jared answered accordingly.  
  
"Don’t forget to lock the door and turn the alarm system on," Sherri reminded Jared for what felt like the thousandth time but, in reality, had only been the fourth. When he agreed, she said goodnight and went through her routine before finally hanging up.

  
Jared tossed the phone onto the bed and went over to his laptop, opening it quickly. He signed onto Skype like he normally did but this time, instead of walking away to do something else, he waited for it to connect. Then he set himself to “busy” and left the room clad in only a towel, his slightly damp hair spilling over his forehead.  
  
With the doors locked and the alarm system activated, Jared made his way back upstairs and to his bedroom, where he took the towel from his waist and tossed it into the hamper. He shivered from head to toe when he was naked and walked over to the dresser, opening one of the drawers before taking a pair of boxers out. They got slid on and over his slender hips, followed by a large hoodie that he had stolen from his best friend, Matt.  
  
There were messages waiting for Jared, as there almost always was, and he didn’t bother to reply to them before clicking the video call button. It was normal for him to just jump onto camera with Jeff without saying a word to him and it should have been weird but Jared didn’t think anything of it.  
  
"Hey, kid." Jeff’s voice was rough, like gravel, and it made Jared shiver slightly.  
  
"Hi," he replied, worrying his lower lip between his teeth as he settled into his chair, pulling the ends of his sleeves down over his hands. "What are you doing?"  
  
Jeff shrugged a shoulder and lifted a manila folder, waving it in front of the computer. “I’m getting some work done,” he answered and set his paperwork back down.  
  
"Oh. Do you want me to leave you alone until you’re done?" Jared didn’t want to keep Jeff from doing his work. He wanted to talk to the man, yeah, but he could wait for a little while or until the next day if need be.  
  
"No, I’m almost done. Give me a few minutes and then I’m all yours."

A hum settled low in Jared’s throat and he smiled, leaning his head back against the top of his chair as he watched Jeff turn his attention to the paper he was working on. He brought his legs up, bending his knees before tucking them against his chest, and yawned quietly, blushing when Jeff told him to stop yawning. “It’s contagious,” he said and then proceeded to yawn after the words were out. Whether it was real or fake, Jared didn’t know, but he laughed either way.  
  
It took fifteen minutes for Jeff to declare that he was done but then he excused himself, saying he needed to put the folder into his briefcase before he forgot. Jared nodded, smiling as he watched the older man get out of the chair and his eyes widened when he noticed that Jeff wasn’t wearing pants.  
  
By the time the man came back, Jared’s whole face was red and Jeff asked, “What’s wrong?”  
  
"Nothing," the boy answered, a little too quickly, and he blushed more. "I - I’m just… I saw you in your boxers, that’s all."  
  
"Oh," Jeff murmured, scrubbing a hand along the side of his face, scratching his nails over the salt-and-pepper stubble covering his jaw. "Does that bother you?"  
  
Jared shook his head immediately, the movement jerky and quick. “No, it doesn’t bother me ‘cause I’m in my boxers, too,” he admitted, grinning a little but it was shaky.  
  
"You are?" With his lip caught between his teeth, Jared nodded slowly. "Great minds think alike, I guess," Jeff said with a laugh.  
  
From there, their conversation moved onto normal things. Jeff wanted to know about school and how it was going other than the kids that were making fun of him, and Jared answered every question with a bright smile. Soon, though, he got tired and decided to move his laptop over to his nightstand so he could lie down and talk to Jeff at the same time.  
  
Once he was lying down, Jared yawned loudly and snuggled with his pillow, his eyes half lidded and locked on the screen in front of him. He could see Jeff’s arm moving a little bit, which piqued his interest, and he couldn’t stop himself from asking what the man was doing.  
  
"I’m…" Jeff trailed off, blowing out a long breath. He answered Jared’s query with another question: "You know what masturbation is, hmm?"  
  
Jared’s face heated up and he just barely tipped his chin toward his chest in what might have been a nod.  
  
"That’s what I’m doing."  
  
"Oh." Jared sank his teeth into his lower lip and watched as Jeff’s arm continued to move and even though a voice in the back of his mind told him not to, the boy couldn’t help but ask if he could see. This was what his parents warned him of, after all, but Jared didn’t seem to care at the moment.  
  
A strangled noise came from Jeff and the movement stopped for a second. “You’re sure?”  
  
"Mmm hmmm…" Even as he said that, Jared knew that he should be saying no and that he should tell the older man that he had to go for some reason.  
  
Jeff inhaled sharply through his nose and shook his head before muttering a quiet ‘okay’ under his breath. He told Jared to give him a second to angle the camera, putting his hand over the lens so the boy couldn’t see anything but black on the screen, and he frowned until the hand was taken away.  
  
When the older man’s screen came back up, Jared gasped quietly. He had only seen one other adult male naked, which had been his father and it had happened on accident, but it was nothing like this. Jared honestly didn’t know what he expected; he was twelve years old and had been masturbating for a while now, since he first got hard, but Jeff…  
  
Jeff was _huge_!  
  
"You okay, Jared?"  
  
The sound of Jeff’s voice startled Jared and he nodded. “I’m okay,” he answered in a quiet voice, his eyes widening as he watched the older man stroke himself slowly. “You’re so big.”

"Thanks," Jeff laughed, brushing his thumb along the head of his cock. "Do you want to show me your cock?"  
  
Jared blushed furiously and fought back the urge to cover his face, keeping his hands where they were on the pillow, gripping the pillowcase tightly. He didn’t know if that was such a good idea, him showing Jeff his cock (and that word had Jared’s face burning even hotter), and he shook his head slowly.  
  
"That’s okay."  
  
"You - you’re sure?" Jared asked in a squeaky voice.  
  
Jeff tilted the camera back up and pushed his chair back away from the desk so Jared could still watch what he was doing and see his face at the same time. “Of course,” he answered, smiling. “Do you want to keep watching?”  
  
A hesitant nod.  
  
The older man mimicked the gesture and continued stroking his cock slowly. Jared watched, completely enthralled with what Jeff was doing, and could feel heat pooling in the pit of his stomach. His cock was starting to harden from watching this and he buried his face against his pillow, making a noise.  
  
"Jay?" Jeff’s voice was soft but grew louder as he moved closer to the computer. "Are you alright?"  
  
Jared nodded and picked his head up to say, “Yes.”  
  
"Do you want me to stop?"  
  
"No." Or did he? Jared didn’t know what he wanted; his body was hit with a bunch of feelings at once and all he knew was that he needed to get off before he went crazy. "I should go to sleep," he said after a moment and looked at the screen, his eyes going first to Jeff’s face and then to his crotch, shuddering.  
  
Jeff smiled softly, his dimples just barely flashing as he rolled forward so the only thing Jared could see was his torso. “Okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, kid,” he said and he didn’t sound upset, which made the boy relax.  
  
After saying goodnight, Jared watched the screen disappear and blew out a long breath, chewing on his lower lip as he shut his laptop. His cock was hard and he was confused about the whole thing but the boy turned onto his back and got a hand around himself, stroking his shaft quickly. It didn’t take long for him to come and Jared arched off the mattress when he did, letting out a quiet shout when his orgasm hit.  
  
Jared cleaned up with his boxers and took them off, throwing the soiled fabric onto the floor beside his bed. He curled up then and fell asleep almost immediately, dreaming about Jeff - which wasn’t weird but the dreams were more… sexual. When he woke up in the morning, Jared was rock hard again and he jerked off in the shower before going downstairs to eat breakfast.

x

  
It was around four in the afternoon when Jared got around to logging onto Skype and he chewed on his thumbnail, watching the screen as the program connected. Once he was signed on, the boy looked at his very short contact list and saw the green check beside Jeff’s name, which caused his heart to thump wildly behind his ribs.  
  
Before he could decide what to do, Jared was being called by Jeff and he clicked answer without hesitation, smiling softly as the screen popped up. He watched the older man come on screen, biting down on his lower lip to keep his smile from spreading when he saw Jeff in a black t-shirt with his hair mussed and his glasses settled on the bridge of his nose.  
  
"I was wondering when you’d be online," Jeff said, giving Jared a bright smile.  
  
Jared flushed, grinding his lip between his teeth as he nodded. “I had things to do, sorry.”  
  
"No worries, kid." There was a pause before Jeff asked, "Are you okay… after last night?"  
  
"Yeah, I’m fine." Jared was telling the truth; actually, he was better than okay and kind of wanted to watch Jeff jerk off again but didn’t know how to ask.

A smile spread across Jeff’s face and he hummed deeply. “That’s good,” he whispered and then he asked Jared what he was doing, like he normally did.  
  
While he answered Jeff’s question, Jared picked at the hem of his t-shirt, a nervous habit that he had picked up over the past few years, and sucked on his lower lip. “So… last night,” he said in a quiet voice, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red. “What made you…  _you know_?”  
  
"Hard?" Jeff supplied, chuckling when Jared nodded. "Honestly? You did."  
  
"Wha - what? How did  _I_  do  _that_?"  
  
Jeff shrugged his shoulders and bit down on his lower lip. “You just did,” he explained, dragging his tongue along his lips and Jared followed it’s path, whimpering. “Did you…?”  
  
"Yes," the boy squeaked out, tugging at the skin of his lip before tearing a piece off. He laved over the small split, barely wincing at the pain that shot through his lip. "Afterward, yes."  
  
"Do you want to do that again?" Jeff’s voice was deeper now, more gravelly than before, and it sent a shudder down Jared’s spine.

  
That was a confusing question; Jared definitely wanted to see Jeff jerk off again but he didn’t know if he wanted to show the older man anything. He didn’t like his body, felt entirely too small for his age, and didn’t even like getting naked in front of his doctor, the person he’d been going to since he was a toddler.  
  
After a moment, Jared nodded his head slowly. “I - yeah, I would,” he answered, blushing.  
  
Jeff smiled and stood, pushing the chair behind him before backing up. Now that he was standing in front of the computer, Jared could see that he was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms in addition to the t-shirt and the outfit, as simple as it was, looked amazing on the older man.  
  
With his eyes glued to the screen, Jared bit down on his lower lip and followed every movement of Jeff’s hands, swallowing at the lump in his throat. He held his breath, watching as the strings of the older man’s pants were undone and nearly choked on the air in his throat when the fabric fell away.  
  
"Oh god." Jared squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and opened them when Jeff grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, tugging it up slowly. The line of hair lying just underneath the older man’s navel was exposed and the boy whimpered, following the path of the dark fabric as it slipped along Jeff’s torso.  
  
Finally, a moment later, the older man was completely naked in front of the camera. His cock was half hard and he moved a hand down, giving himself a couple of strokes as Jared watched, completely and utterly fascinated. A moan spilled from Jeff’s lips and it sent a spark through the boy watching on the other side of the screen, his toes curling against the carpet underneath his desk.  
  
"Do you want to get naked?" Jeff asked and it was so weird how he was  _asking_  Jared instead of telling him, like he respected the boy’s decision. Well, he did because the night before he had asked a similar question and hadn’t gotten upset when Jared said no.  
  
Now, though, the boy wasn’t sure he wanted to say no. He bit the edge of his lip, cocking his head to the side as he watched Jeff’s hand slide along his length. It was thick and long, a hell of a lot bigger than anything that Jared had seen before, and watching the older man made him hard.  
  
"I… okay." Jared nodded once, curtly, before standing. His desk chair rolled back away from the desk and he played with the bottom of his shirt, hesitating for a moment before pulling it up and over his head. The fabric slipped through Jared’s fingers and fell onto the floor as he sucked in a deep breath, looking down at himself.  
  
God, he felt… tiny. Of course, Jared knew that Jeff was older than him and he would be bigger in a couple of years but he didn’t understand how anyone - especially someone like  _Jeff_  - would like someone like him.  
  
"You alright?" Jeff’s voice was breathless and Jared looked up, gnawing on his lower lip as he nodded his head slowly. "If you want to stop, you can; I’m not going to be upset."

Yeah, Jared knew that the older man wouldn’t be upset but he felt like it was only fair that the boy get naked in front of Jeff since the older man had done it twice for him. He swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat, and lifted his shaky hands, hooking his thumbs underneath the waistband of his pajama bottoms.  
  
Taking in a deep breath, the boy pushed the fabric away from his hips and bent down, getting the bottoms around his ankles. Jared lifted his legs, getting out of the fabric before kicking it away and waiting a moment before standing. He was hard, his entire body flushed from head to toe, and lifted his eyes to look at Jeff.  
  
Who was staring at him with his lip caught between his teeth.  
  
"Jesus, Jared…"  
  
"I’m sorry," the boy apologized, his chest heaving as panic set in. He thought the older man hated his body and would make fun of him like everyone else did, bracing himself for the comments about his small body and his even smaller cock.  
  
Jeff’s eyes lifted, locking on Jared’s, and he smiled. “What are you apologizing for?”  
  
"F - for b - b- being so  _small_."  
  
"Oh, god, Jared." Jeff laughed and shook his head. "You’re just twelve years old, you aren’t small; you’re perfect," he said, the smile on his face widening.  
  
That compliment made Jared’s heart slam up against his rib cage and he smiled just a little, his lips curling slightly at the corners. “Oh. You think so?”  
  
"Mmm hmm.."  
  
"Everyone else says I’m too small." Jared frowned, looking down at his body as he ran a hand along his stomach, where he still had some baby fat. He had been told, several times by his doctor and later by his parents, that the weight would go away when he got older and taller.  
  
Jeff shook his head again and groaned. “I think you’re perfect,” he said and sat back down, looking at Jared longingly. “You touch yourself, don’t you?”  
  
A squeak rose from Jared’s throat and he nodded a bit.  
  
"Do you ever… do anything else?"  
  
"Like what?" Jared asked, quirking a brow as he sat back down. The feeling of his chair’s scratchy fabric against his legs and ass made Jared squirm around a little as he waited for an answer.  
  
The older man took a deep breath and said, “You could finger yourself.”  
  
"I can - what?"  
  
"Finger yourself," Jeff repeated, licking his lips quickly. "You don’t know what I mean by that, do you?"  
  
Jared shook his head slowly, feeling stupid for not knowing.

  
"In addition to jerking off, you can finger your ass."  
  
The idea made Jared wrinkle his nose and that must have been amusing because Jeff laughed quietly, which made the boy panic a little. “Why would I want to do that?”  
  
"Because it feels good."  
  
"And… how do you do it?" Jared asked in a quiet voice.  
  
In response to that, Jeff launched into an explanation. He told Jared that fingering happened mostly when two men were about to have sex with each other and the bottom (“the what?” Jared had squawked; Jeff explained that a “bottom” was the boy that would get fucked and the boy nodded understandingly) got his hole fingered.  
  
"It helps get him ready to take another man’s cock," Jeff explained, watching as Jared’s face turned a deeper shade of crimson. By the end of the lesson, the boy was covering his face with both hands and it was adorable, which the older man made known in a quiet voice.  
  
Jared took everything in and wondered if Jeff had ever done that, so he asked.  
  
"I… have a few times, yes."  
  
"Oh. Do you like it?" Jeff nodded in response and Jared bit his lip. Well, maybe if  _Jeff_  liked it so much then maybe he would, too? The thought of putting his fingers…  _there_  made the boy wrinkle his nose and he thought it was kind of gross, honestly.  
  
A few minutes passed before either of them said anything; Jeff was the one to break the silence and he asked: “Do you want to try fingering yourself sometime?”

Jared nodded without thinking about what he was doing and murmured, “I… might want to, yes, but - isn’t that kind of disgusting? I mean, you…  _you know_  from there.”  
  
"I can promise you that it’s not gross at all."  
  
"Huh." Jared let that information soak in for a moment and lifted a hand, combing his fingers through his hair before scratching his scalp. "Okay, so… what do I do?"  
  
A groan forced its way out of Jeff’s mouth and he shook his head slowly. “You’d need something slick to help ease your fingers inside,” he answered, laughing when Jared’s face screwed up again. “I know, it sounds disgusting at first but it feels good. You don’t have to do it, though.”  
  
That was reassuring and, even though the whole thing did sound disgusting, Jared wanted to try it out at least once. Maybe when they got off cam… and that gave the boy an idea, so he asked Jeff what kind of stuff he needed to slick the way.  
  
"Lube works perfectly but, if you don’t have that, Vaseline."  
  
"Oh! We have some of that," Jared said, blushing at how excited the outburst sounded. Maybe he was a little excited to touch himself in a different way and he bit his lower lip before excusing himself before scurrying out of the room.  
  
Since he was alone, Jared didn’t bother putting any clothes on. He walked down the hallway, stark naked, and went into the bathroom before heading over to the cabinet to look for the jar of Vaseline his mother kept in there. It was hidden in the back, underneath Megan’s hair bows and other accessories, and the boy grabbed the jar with a shaky hand, carrying it back into his room.  
  
Jeff was waiting for him on screen, leaned back in his chair with one had on his cock and the other moving across his chest slowly. The one on his shaft pumped up and down slowly, thumb brushing along the head on every upstroke, and Jared stared at him for a moment before dropping down into his chair.  
  
"Okay, sorry," he said, giving Jeff a shaky smile.  
  
"No worries." The older man smiled back and sat up, the hand on his cock moving even slower as he looked at Jared. "What did you go and get?"  
  
In response, Jared picked the jar up and blushed. “I - I’m gonna try to f - finger myself later,” he said, shrugging in what he hoped was a nonchalant way as he set the jar back down on the desk.  
  
"Shit." Jeff groaned the word and shook his head slowly. "Why don’t you do it now, huh?"  
  
That suggestion made Jared’s eyes widen and his pulse quickened. He didn’t think that was such a good idea, making the older man watch as he did something so weird and gross, but Jeff’s voice made the boy wonder if he actually wanted to watch.  
  
"I - um, I don’t know." Jared swallowed, then licked his lower lip slowly.  
  
"That’s fine but you can, you know, if you want."  
  
Biting the inside of his cheek, Jared watched Jeff and picked his laptop up before moving it over to the bed, setting it down on the end of the mattress. He went back to the desk for the jar of Vaseline, looking at the label as he walked over to his bed and climbed onto the middle of it, sitting with his legs crossed.  
  
Jared looked at the screen and cleared his throat. “Um… what - how should I lie down?”  
  
"What? Jared, I said you didn’t have to do it on cam if you didn’t want to," Jeff murmured.  
  
"I  _know_  you said that but… I want to." Jared gave the older man a shaky smile and repeated his question as he leaned back on his hands, looking at the screen with his eyebrows raised slightly. The thought of Jeff watching him finger himself made Jared’s stomach twist into knots and he tried to calm down so he wouldn’t freak out.

The older man bit his lip and nodded. “You can lie on your back with your legs spread… or you can get on your knees,” Jeff answered, licking from one corner of his mouth to the other.  
  
Once he had an answer, Jared nodded and thought about the best way to do this. He decided that it would probably be better to lie on his back instead of doing it on his knees, that way he didn’t have to struggle to hold himself up. With a soft sigh, Jared piled his pillows up at the top of the bed and laid back against them, picking up the Vaseline.  
  
"Are you sure about this?" Jeff asked and all Jared could do was nod.  
  
The next few minutes were the hardest. Jared thought about going back on what he said and telling the older man that he just couldn’t do it but that seemed cowardly. He stared at the jar in his hand, took a deep breath, and twisted the cap off before tossing it onto the floor beside the bed.  
  
Jared glanced at the screen and spread his legs obscenely, taking in ragged breaths through his nose as he dipped his fingers into the jar. He tried not to make a face at how _weird_  the petroleum jelly felt and definitely didn’t think about how disgusting it would feel against his hole.  
  
"That should be enough," Jeff said and his voice startled Jared. He laughed nervously, licking his lips slowly as he set the jar down on the mattress beside him and lifted his hips, sliding a hand down between his legs. There was a sharp intake of breath from the computer and Jared flushed, not thinking about a forty year old man getting off to what he was doing.  
  
The position was a little weird, so Jared moved around. He ended up lying on his side with his knees drawn toward his chest and slipped his hand down, pressing a fingertip against his hole. The lube was cold, making Jared shiver a little as he rubbed it around his rim and he must have been doing something good because Jeff was moaning.  
  
Jared continued to rub around his hole for a moment as he thought about what he was about to to and tried to talk himself out of not doing anything. He finally decided to just bite the bullet and he pushed the tip of his finger inside, stopping when pain flared up. There was a burn, too, one that made Jared whimper as he bit down on his lip to keep the noises inside so Jeff didn’t know that he was in so much pain.  
  
Nothing happened for a moment; Jared breathed hard, keeping just the tip of his index finger buried inside of himself, and he listened to Jeff groaning quietly. He honestly forgot that the older man was watching and he flushed, pushing his finger in just a little more, the lube definitely making things a lot easier.  
  
"Oh…" Jared whimpered when he just over half of his finger in. His ass was hurting and he thought about pulling the digit out but he came this far, why not go all the way? So he breathed harshly, keeping his finger still until he felt like he could take even more, and he slipped the digit in a little more. When the pain got worse, Jared stopped and gasped.  
  
"Are you okay?" The words came from Jeff’s mouth as a breath and Jared whimpered, nodding his head even though he knew the older man couldn’t really see him. "You’re doing so good, Jared, fuck. It looks so good; does it feel good?"  
  
Jared whimpered again and said, “Feels… okay.”  
  
"God, you look so fucking gorgeous like that, Jay."  
  
That made Jared shiver and he sucked on his lower lip, clenching his eyes shut. He relaxed completely, his hole loosening as he pushed another centimeter inside and he gasped - this time it wasn’t as pained as it had been before. There was still some pain and discomfort, yes, along with a burning stretch that made Jared want to cry but it was becoming more bearable by the moment.  
  
And while Jared did that, Jeff spoke to him.

"I wish I were there, fingering your tiny asshole instead. God, I bet you’re so fucking tight and I can only  _imagine_  what you’d feel like on my cock." The older man’s voice was rough and he breathed hard in between words, the combination of everything making Jared feel like every nerve in his body had been set aflame. He had never heard such things from anyone and couldn’t believe that Jeff was openly saying them now.  
  
"You can stop if it hurts," Jeff pointed out and Jared sucked in a deep breath, shaking his head as he pushed his finger in the rest of the way, crying out. "It’s okay, just relax…"  
  
Jared didn’t think he  _could_  relax at this point. There was too much pain and he didn’t know why anyone would subject themselves to doing something like that and he didn’t see how in the world it could be so pleasurable. He wiggled his finger around a little, whimpering quietly before biting down on his lower lip to keep the pained noises in.  
  
"Jared?"  
  
"Huh?" Jared gasped, letting his head roll back onto the pillow. He stared up at the ceiling with tears stinging his eyes and his hand still behind him, listening to his own harsh breathing as he waited for an answer.  
  
Jeff was quiet for a moment before saying, “You can stop.”  
  
"No, it’s - I’m okay."  
  
"You sound like you’re in pain." Jeff’s voice was heavy with worry and Jared chuckled quietly, shaking his head as he started pumping his finger in and out.  
  
A sudden jolt of pain shot up Jared’s spine and he whimpered again, louder this time, and continued to move his finger slowly. He figured that the pain would dull after a while if he just kept doing what he was doing and it was starting to work; the burn was turning into a dull ache that wasn’t so bad.  
  
"Oh… oh, god."  
  
"What? What is it, Jared?" Jeff asked, his voice on the edge of panic.  
  
Jared hummed and started moving against his hand, moaning. “I - it doesn’t hurt that much anymore,” he answered, breathing harshly as he rolled his hips.  
  
" _Christ_. You’re a natural."  
  
That was a good thing, right? Jared wondered as he slipped his finger out and pressed another against his hole beside it, breathing in deeply through his nose. He slid the digits in as slowly as possible, clenching his teeth together as the pain flared up again and got turned up a couple of notches.  
  
A curse made it’s way out of Jared’s throat and he immediately stumbled over an apology as soon as it was out, blushing furiously. He didn’t like cursing, even if Jeff said that it was okay for him to say bad words in front of him, and Jared bit down on his lower lip to the point of pain to keep all noises and words inside.  
  
"This is our little secret, Jared," Jeff was saying at the foot of the bed and Jared made a humming noise, clearly confused. "No one is going to know what we’ve done and they’re not going to know if you said a couple of bad words."  
  
"Okay," the boy whimpered, blowing out a long breath as he pushed his fingers in to the second knuckle. His muscles clenched around the digits and he experimentally pumped them out a little, letting out a pained moan.  
  
Jeff groaned and said, “Go slow, okay? There’s no need for you hurting yourself now.”  
  
With a nod, Jared obeyed the older man’s words. He started to push his fingers in slowly, stopping whenever the pain and the stretch became too much but then he was moving them again. It took a few minutes for Jared to get the whole length of his fingers inside and once they were buried deep in his hole, the boy rolled over onto his knees.  
  
A loud moan came from the laptop and Jared blushed, letting out a shaky breath as he sat up on his knees, grabbing his headboard with his free hand. He spread his legs, giving Jeff a better view of his hand, and started pumping his fingers in and out slowly, letting out quiet moans.

The whole thing was starting to feel amazing and Jared let his head fall down onto his forearm, biting down on his lower lip as he pushed back against his hand. He crooked his fingertips slightly and touched something inside of him that made every feeling in his body explode at once.  
  
"Oh sh - shit," Jared moaned, blushing as he cursed.  
  
"Fuck, baby, I think you found your prostate. How’s that feel?" Jeff asked.  
  
Jared almost opened his mouth to ask what a  _prostate_  was but kept the question inside, deciding to answer the older man’s question instead. “G - good,” he moaned, quickening his pace a little, listening to the wet sound of his fingers moving in and out.  
  
As the boy fingered himself, Jeff told him what to do and how deep to shove his fingers inside of his ass. “Come on, Jared, you can push them in a little deeper. I bet that feels good, huh? Fuck, it’s like you were  _born_  for this,” he breathed.  
  
"J - Jeff…"  
  
"Yeah, Jared?"  
  
"Feels… feels good."  
  
"Yeah, I bet it does. You think you’d want a cock in there someday?" When the older man said that, Jared thought about it and pictured Jeff’s cock. It was so big, so much bigger than the two fingers that were sliding in and out of his hole, and the boy didn’t think anything anywhere  _near_  that size would fit inside of him.  
  
"I - I don’t know," Jared answered honestly. Yeah, he liked having two fingers buried deep in his hole but there was a huge - no pun intended - difference between those and an actual cock. Especially if someone was as big as Jeff was!  
  
Jeff chuckled and Jared looked over his shoulder, eyes fluttering open to look at the screen behind him. It was dark, so he reached down to move his finger along the track pad, and when the older man was on the screen again, he gasped. Jeff was stroking his cock and had the other hand on his balls, rolling them between his fingers.  
  
A strangled cry of Jeff’s name feel from Jared’s lips and he watched the screen, his entire body shuddering as he started fingering himself faster. He pushed the digits in all the way, then dragged them out, and shoved them back in a little harder than he had intended but it felt amazing.  
  
"Touch your cock, Jared."  
  
"I can’t," Jared whined, breathing hard as he moved his hips against his hand. He pulled his fingers out, doing so slowly, and rolled over onto his back, spreading his legs so he could look at the laptop. Jeff was looking at him like he wanted to absolutely devour the boy and Jared shuddered, getting a hand around his cock.  
  
It didn’t take long for the boy to come; he stroked his cock a few times, then arched his back and let his head fall against the headboard. When his orgasm hit, Jared came on his hand and bit down on his lower lip, breathing harshly through his nose. He heard the noises that Jeff was making at the end of the bed, opening his eyes as he tilted his head toward his chest, looking at the screen just when Jeff came.  
  
"Jared," the older man moaned, the boy’s name tapering off into a growl. Jeff’s hips stuttered forward when his orgasm hit and he came on his stomach, even managing to get some as far as his his collarbones. Jared watched, licking his lips subconsciously, and fell against the bed, completely exhausted.  
  
A few minutes passed before either of them said anything. Jeff broke the silence by saying he would be right back and he disappeared, coming back two minutes later with a towel. As he cleaned himself up, Jared watches through his lashes and knew that he should do the same but he was too tired.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Mmmh?"  
  
Jeff laughed and repeated his question, then adding: “And tell me the truth.”  
  
"I’m…" Jared sighed, running his clean hand through his hair, scratching the top of his head as he tried to put his feelings into words. "I’m in a little bit of pain but I feel… good, I guess," he answered, giving a shaky smile.

"Good." With a grin, Jeff winked at the camera and then moved to pull his clothes on, doing so slowly - like he was giving Jared a show. If he was, the boy appreciated it and watched with hooded eyes, licking his lips quickly.  
  
A moment later, Jared’s phone buzzed on the nightstand and he squeaked. “I should go,” he said, looking at the screen where Jeff was sitting and scratching his jaw lightly. “I’ll be on again tomorrow but it’ll be earlier than I was today.”  
  
"Does that mean you want to do this again?"  
  
Jared didn’t answer. He just smiled, biting down on his lower lip as he waved to Jeff before leaning over to shut his laptop. Then he answered the phone, sounding slightly breathless but his mother bought his story of having a coughing fit before answering.  
  
"Well, I won’t keep you much longer. Go get some rest and we’ll see you tomorrow around six in the evening, okay?" Jared hummed in agreement and said goodbye to his mother before hanging up, grinning at the thought of being able to Skype with Jeff all day.  
  
Oh, tomorrow would be fun.


End file.
